After looking at what’s behind and what’s beneath, we come to the last essential part; the F for Future from the A-F. By building a future we can believe in, we’re able to set goals and start believing that change is possible.
Create a future you can believe in
“To succeed you have to believe in something with such a passion that it becomes a reality.”
Anita Roddick – Founder of The Body Shop
When it comes to creating a future, it’s important to remember that it’s your future, not someone else’s. Create a future where you are the ideal version of yourself; capable of change and in control of your own destiny, what’s called having agency.
It’s actually not that easy always to realise this; in fact, as we saw before, the patterns and behaviours that we exhibit which are actually harmful to us can repeat themselves in our imagined futures. Therefore it’s important to be aware of those things before we set out to create a new future. Then we know what to avoid.
Values
One way to create a new future is to build it around your values. Those values are what drives us and resonates with us. They’re not always obvious, and they can also change over time. When our values aren’t met we can become disillusioned and feel unfulfilled. When our values are challenged we can feel threatened. This can happen at work; if honesty is one of your core values and you’re constantly dealing with dishonesty, you’ll feel constantly challenged and wondering why you’re doing it. However, if you have a value of freedom and you’re in a job that gives you a lot of freedom, and particularly also if you value meaningful work, then you’ll feel right, like “This is the job for me.”
I have created a list of values which you can download here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oqyOrD5dIW2D0dcg5S_1u83zz6onE3czBvnSFd8AF1M/edit?usp=sharing
Once downloaded, print it out and start crossing off those values which immediately don’t resonate with you. If you want to add anything, feel free to do so. Once you’ve crossed out the most obvious ones, cross out the ones which you’re less sure of. Keep doing this until you’re down to no more than four or five. The reason for this is that we want to get to the absolute core values. If you’re stuck between two values, think about what it would mean if you had to give up on that particular value; how would it feel to not have that value met?
Congratulations, the remaining values are what drives you. They might surprise you. My three main ones are actually quite obvious, they’re right there in the logo: genuine, honest, professional. I have found other ones as well, like meaningful work, but these are the three core ones I’ve built my own future around.
Future Pacing
One analogy I always use is that if you want to climb Mount Everest, you don’t just walk out of the door and set off in any random direction, hoping that one day you’ll end up on top of it. Chances are that you actually start with the end of the journey: what’s it like to stand on the peak? How does it feel to have made it? What can you see? What’s your thinking? Maybe “I’ve made it!”?
That’s exactly how we start in coaching as well. What does it feel like to get to where you want to be? Where are you? Who is there? We really build up the end result exactly how you want it. That way it’s your own future you’re shaping, and that’s the future you can believe in.
We then take a step back, to basecamp to to speak. What’s needed for that final push? What’s the last step we do before tackling the summit?
Then we take another step back; what comes before that? Tickets to Kathmandu? A guide? And before that? Flight tickets to Nepal? And so on, until we’re back in the present having gone through each single step and we’re sitting there writing down what to pack.
By doing this future pacing we’ve broken down each single step into a small manageable step which can be turned into a goal, which all leads up to our ultimate goal. By aligning your values with your future, you’ll not only create a viable, possible future, but you’re also doing it based around yourself. Maybe you want to go to Everest on a bike? By having your values as a guide, you’ll believe in each step as it presents itself, and should things change you’re quickly able to skirt any obstacle in the way because you’re still going to be invested in the outcome. Constantly updating your goals in order to get to the next step on your journey is how you avoid losing faith in your future.
Goal setting will be the next part of these, so please check back soon, and remember if you want to talk about how it all works in practice or try some quick coaching, please get in touch at coaching@grundstrom.org.
